Every passing night, the lights grew dimmer under the walls that reeked of alcohol. I watched my mother step through the creaking doors and found myself looking at the piercing stare of my father; a signal for me to hide. Helplessly hiding under the tables, I witnessed my father slap her across the face, the sound still echoed in my ears. Not knowing what to do, my mind was overwhelmed with emotions. After these endless nights, I gradually became an introvert, restricting me to socialize like how a normal person would. It would be very difficult for me to approach someone and start a conversation, which lead to loneliness that I became accustomed to. There was a bigger phenomenon that I had to adjust to, living without a dad.

Backed against the walls with no other options, my mother decided to separate us from my father in a new home, which gave us a sense of peace and freedom because we were away from his violent tendencies and control over us. Although we were much safer away from him, many questions arose in my mind, such as who we would rely on to protect and support us. Living with a single mother was a lot of pressure because I had to mature at a young age to manage the family. However, my greatest concern was that without a father and with a busy mother, I wouldn’t be able to experience love from a family the way other people do. A broken family made me feel unimportant, that no one was concerned about what was happening in my life. Thus, I was afraid to express myself and found it hard to trust others.

Desiring the love and bond that a family would have, I relied heavily on volleyball which a friend had introduced me to. After being made known to a church volleyball team, New Life Now, I started to feel more emotionally relieved while playing with my friends. Although the transition was initially straining, with early morning training and intimidating teammates, I eventually became more comfortable and began to see them as people who cared about me and who I could trust and depend. Consequently, their advice to me to improve as a player and began to feel more genuine rather than teasing, and over the months, I was able to express myself more to them. The volleyball team began to feel like a family to me, and I felt more at home than ever before. Also, the intense training involved when playing volleyball, like circuit training, doing multiple laps of bunny hops and duck walks across a big yard, and running allowed me to take my focus off my problems, giving me a positive outlet physically and socio-emotionally.

Finding people who were willing to teach and sympathize with me was a huge turning point in my life. New Life Now was the ideal environment that shaped me for the future because, not only were we coached on how to play volleyball, but also on how to deal with real-life situations. Thanks to their program, I can now freely open myself up to others and ask for help when needed. I learned to be expressive of my emotions and to trust others through camaraderie. I gained the courage to tryout for my high school volleyball team, and there I acted as a beacon for those who felt alone and needed a place of belonging like I once did. Knowing who I am today, I feel confident about striving towards what is in store for me and acting independently for the first time.

Volleyball taught me how to develop myself as a person and prepare for the future, and I could use what I learned to help others who needed a guide like I was when I was younger. Although coming out of my comfort zone was nerve-racking, it was the best chance I took to help me get over my past fears. Overcoming the issues that I faced with my family, I find myself no longer afraid and ready to stand up to any challenges that I will encounter in the future.

This entry is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International license.